The way to do it and the way to do it right
Until you have self-motivation, you’re never going to reach your full potential.
My struggle has always been finding what I truly want to do, which means that the majority of my life, I did things I wasn’t necessarily interested in, I just did them because I thought, “this is the way of life.”
After high school, you go to college, after college, you get a good job, and when you get a good job, all you do is work, you go to the gym, you watch Netflix, the end.
My lack of understanding of what I was missing out on, made me feel… uneasy. I felt like I needed a change, I needed to change my environment, so I moved to a different state.
I still felt uneasy. I left my job at a tech startup and went back to waitressing so I could figure out what I wanted to do.
Eventually, I got another job at a tech company. Why? Because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. Again.
I had the motivation in me to go to work, to continue my life, to live and be happy. However, I lacked contentment. I lacked fulfillment.
I started reading a lot of self-help books. You name the title, I read it back to back, probably twice.
However, what you obtain from self-help books only works if you truly practice what is being preached.
I was frustrated, and eventually, I began losing my motivation to do… well, anything.
I began realizing that it wasn’t necessarily motivation that had been driving me this entire time, it was purely me following “the rules” that I thought had been set for my life.
And, while I thought that moving to a different state and being in a different environment would then release me from those rules, I still ended up going back to them because they felt comfortable and familiar.
I started thinking and toying with ideas of how I could ultimately improve my life.
What was that one thing that made my heart skip? What was that one thing I always did without fail because it was a habit and I enjoyed it? What was that one thing that would excite me enough to get out of bed every morning and do it for the rest of my life?
It definitely wasn’t tech, it certainly wasn’t waitressing.
I began toying with the idea of writing, yet again.
I always knew it was something I wanted to do, but I never pursued it because it didn’t fall into “the rules” that I thought were set for my life.
I reminded myself that the goal was to expand. The goal was to reach fulfillment, it was to explore new notions of life and essentially have the life of my dreams, so why not go for something that I never thought was possible purely because I thought it didn’t fit the mold that was created for me?
How do I start?
I asked myself.
Figure out what you truly want
This might sound cliche, but honestly, how do you expect to be self-motivated if you’re not doing something that truly matters to you?
What brings you joy?
What makes you feel content?
What are you good at?
What do you suck at, but you still love doing it anyway because it just makes you HAPPY?
What is so meaningful to you that you will stay up all night to do it?
What is so exciting for you that you’re willing to jump out of bed at 6 AM to start working?
Figure out what you truly want.
Understand that self-motivation comes from WITHIN
Self-motivation will ALWAYS come from within. You can read all the self-help books, all the articles, you can talk to your life coach for hours, to your friends, mom, dad whomever it is, but true motivation will always stem from you.
Think of it this way. You want to make a strawberry and banana smoothie.
You’ll need, strawberries, bananas, milk, ice, and a blender.
Everybody in your life could tell you that you’re going to need those things, some might even chirp in about some fancy overpriced extract you can use to make the smoothie 10x better. They’re going to motivate you to make it, they’re going to root for how good it’ll taste.
You need self-motivation to go to the store though.
Life is the same exact way!
You decide you want something, and you tell your friends and family.
They provide you with their hearty input. They give you ideas, they cheer for you, they tell you it’ll be great.
However, their motivation and cheering won’t help you succeed.
You need to be self-motivated to accomplish your goals.
You need self-motivated to go to the store and get the ingredients, come home, pull the blender out of your cupboard, and make the smoothie.
Understand that motivation is fleeting which is why you will eventually need to develop DISCIPLINE
If your goal is to become a bodybuilder or a best selling novelist, understand that you will need discipline for those things. For all things, I’m just giving examples here.
You WILL have instances in your life where even your self-motivation won’t be able to get you out of bed. Even your love for the sport, for writing, etc won’t be enough.
AND THAT IS OKAY TO FEEL THAT WAY.
That is the moment you reach into your discipline bucket and start borrowing power from there.
Discipline is essential.
Self-motivation will get you started, but discipline is what will keep you going.
For everything you do — have a process
Our self-motivation is developed, we’re ready to pursue our passion, we’re ready to jump-start our career. What do we do? How do we obtain our goals?
Have a process.
Set goals for yourself. Goals that are measurable, and achievable.
Set deadlines for yourself. One that is short enough for you to put in immediate action, but long enough for you to accomplish the goal.
Set stakes for yourself. I told myself that if I wasn’t serious about my writing, I would go back to tech.
Let me just tell you, that door is officially closed with chains on it.
Put in the work. Put in the work, my friends. Put in the solid hours that it takes to achieve what you want.
You ARE destined for greatness, you just have to build a few solid habits, you have to brush up on a few things, you have to rewire your brain and allow yourself to always be self-motivated by your dreams, and when your self-motivation fails at times, which it will, reach into your discipline bucket, and get the job done.