Is Chemistry Crucial in Sex?

or can we simply skip it

Image for post
Image for post

I come from a fairly conservative family. At least half of it is, the other half is in the middle. What I mean by that is, one side of the family believes in attending church every Sunday. No tattoos. No premarital sex, etc. The other half, well we are all a bit more relaxed. I lived with the first half of my family for quite some time, then I moved in with my cousin who isn’t isn’t very conservative at all. She taught me quite a bit, and I don’t know if I’d necessarily be where I’m at if she wasn’t there. That’s not what this story is about though, this story is about sex.

Sex is something that is frequently done, often tossed, and might be seldom enjoyed by BOTH parties involved. Why do we think that is? In a heterosexual relationship, is the man selfish? Does he always finish before the lady gets her fix? Or perhaps the woman doesn’t satisfy the needs of the man? What about in a same-sex relationship, does one often take before the other gets the opportunity to enjoy? Does one often feel like the sex begins and ends before they’ve even taken a breath? Sex is so over-talked about, yet not talked about enough.

One incredibly important thing I feel should be discussed when talking about sex is quite simple: chemistry

Chemistry is the epitome of sex. Sure you can have a good lay here and there, but what about those sexual encounters that actually make you feel like you’re sprinting to the finish line.

It’s just so good, you’re almost there, you’ve just about reached it, you finally do, and you explode with pleasure.

Now that, is sex.

The issue at hand is whether or not having sex before marriage is necessary or not. Is it wise? Do you need to figure out if the two of you are compatible behind closed doors? Do you feel like the two of you have chemistry in your conversations? Maybe so, but what about in the bedroom?

What happens when two people get married and have sex for the first time on their wedding night and it’s terrible?

Would things have been different if they had done it throughout their relationship and learned whether or not they have chemistry? Learned what the other person likes or dislikes?

Or, alternatively, we could argue that the couple could potentially go through the learning process during their marriage.

But what if the two of you never gain that chemistry?

How would you even know what chemistry feels like if you’ve never had any sexual encounters with anybody else?

Perhaps it’s like when you ask somebody how they knew you were in love, they always answer with, “you just know.”

What are your thoughts on the subject? Is chemistry crucial? Is it always there between two people who have been together? Is it something you can learn to have between each other if you don’t have it?

Perhaps, you don’t need it? Perhaps a casual sexual encounter with someone is merely for pleasure and enjoyment. Can you obtain those two things without chemistry though?

So many questions, so little time

Writer sharing thoughts on self-improvement and relationships. Connect with me: https://bit.ly/2Xj9WsX IG: dayana_sabatin YT: https://bit.ly/3q4mi4E

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store