Will My Life Ever Change For The Better?

I asked myself this every day

Image for post
Image for post

Today was the last day of my job.

I was laid off and I bid goodbye to my flexible, easy, simple, fairly-decent paid job.

Today is the day I said goodbye to the corporate world, goodbye to the 9–5, goodbye to bosses and offices, goodbye free snacks because tech companies have the best free snacks ever, goodbye cafeteria with free food, goodbye coworkers whom I barely spoke to except the one who sat next to me, our conversations consisted of mostly donuts and him explaining politics to me, but nonetheless, I bid them all goodbye.

Oh, goodbye to my boss as well, he was actually probably the most awesome boss I ever had. Almost every Monday he would come into work being hungover but he STILL made it to his night classes and he was probably one of the most hardcore people I have ever met.

I have always wanted to be a writer. I wanted to tell stories, spin nonsense in people's heads and make them believe in fairytales. Make them believe they could live a life outside of the ordinary life they’re living. The way my brain works, I feel like I could spin a story out of nothing.

For instance, the other day, I saw my neighbor come out on his balcony, I’d never met him nor seen him before, but I instantly thought of a story.

I see this guy next door, and we had a mad love affair? Why don’t we spice it up and also say he was married. Now that would be enticing! OR alternatively, what if I was in a relationship. See, now that would be messed up however, it makes for a great story.

I love films for this very reason. You can create such beautiful things out of nothing. Whenever I watch a movie, I am completely transported. I have probably lived a thousand different lifetimes simply because of the books and films I have read and watched.

Back to the moral of the story.

I am officially a full-time writer. Something I have dreamed about. Something I have cried about.

I have always had multiple jobs at once, for financial purposes and there was a time where I thought having 3 jobs was just cool. I was also saving for my move to LA.

Now, I have the job of my dreams. I am a full-time writer. I am a full-time blogger. I am a full-time Youtuber. I am a full-time everything.

I’ve always wanted to be that success story that goes something like this: I was super passionate about X, Y and Z, so I hustled on the side and I worked on my side projects while working a full-time job, then eventually my side projects began taking all of my time up and I began earning more than I was at my actual full-time job so I quit to pursue my passion!

Instead, my story goes a little something like this: I was super passionate about writing, I worked a full-time job, I got laid off because of COVID-19, and here I am pursuing writing as my full-time job because, in all honesty, there’s nothing left.

I felt like this had to happen in order for me to truly be able to pursue my passion.

I have always held other jobs. I have always tried to pay the bills and nothing further because my goal was to keep the bills PAID. I never considered the possibility of pursuing my passion and paying the bills at once.

Perhaps I didn’t think it was possible, perhaps I didn’t think it through, whatever my reasoning was back then for not pursuing my passion, all I know is that I am jobless and my writing is all I have.

I thought I would cry when I got laid off, I thought I would start to have a raging panic attack, binge on the wine, but frankly, I’ve never felt calmer.

As I said, I think sometimes… you have to be pushed to extremes in order to get what you want.

I believe this is my milestone. This is the mountain I have to cross because while I may not be scared or crying about losing my job, I am fearful of tomorrow. I am fearful of what is to come, but at the same time, I have this incredible peace inside of me because I know that everything is going to be okay, and I truly believe it’s because this was meant to happen.

I may be young, but I have experienced a lot of times in my life where I asked myself, “will my life ever change for the better?”

I asked myself this as I was transitioning from high school to college, I asked myself this when I first moved out when I was only 16. I asked myself this as I would go to bed at night after a long day at a job I disliked, I asked myself this after going to classes all day only to barely make it to my shift at work. It’s not that I was complaining, I was grateful for having good jobs that paid my bills, it’s more so that… I wanted more. I wanted better. I wanted to be satisfied.

When I moved to California, I blew through 10k in about a month. I also lost my job at a startup that failed, and I had to go back to waitressing, except that they wouldn’t hire me as a waitress, only a food-runner, a huge step-down. Well, more so like 10 huge step-downs.

Once again, I asked myself, “will my life ever get better?”

After months of working, after months of searching and interviewing, I got my dream interview. An interview at Warner Bros.

I told them I wanted to be a screenwriter. I would make an exceptional screenwriter, I told them.

They asked a girl to give me a tour of the office, it was filled with cubicles, she wore dress pants and she seemed lifeless.

Where is her excitement? I wondered. She was working at one of the greatest companies in the world!

“You have to sell your soul to get a good role here,” she said. She had been working there for over 2 years, and I was making more money than her as a food-runner.

I didn’t get a job there, they never called me back. They were interested in me doing HR type work, but who wants to work in HR?

I ended up getting a babysitting gig for a few months. Trust me, I asked myself if my life would ever get better every single day at that job.

One day, a recruiter messaged me on Linkedin, telling me about a great role at Yahoo, and I would be a good fit for it. Fast-forward, I got hired, and I worked there for almost 2 years.

2 years, I invested myself in the company. 2 years I worked on my side hustles, and while I will admit, I didn’t give them my all, I still managed to put in the work. I was scared to leave. I was scared to fail. I was scared to not have a safety net. Yet, despite being comfortable in my role, I was still questioning, “will my life ever change for the better?”

Today is the last day I will ever ask myself that question.

Today is my last day of working for a corporate company ever again, today is the day I say, “my life has changed for the better. All I needed, was a push.”

I don’t know what stage of life you are currently in. Perhaps you’re a raging success, perhaps you also have lost your job, perhaps you loathe your job, perhaps you simply feel lost.

Perhaps you’re just bored and you came across my article.

Despite all of that, I hope you pursue your passion and push past your fears. I wish I had done all of this earlier, I was I had been laid off earlier, I wish I had pursued my passions earlier and given them my all, maybe I would be more ahead than I am now, nonetheless, I’m not going to complain.

I gathered valuable skills that make me an exceptional worker. I’ve had roles in finance, I’ve held roles in engineering, data analytics, e-commerce, and all sorts of other things, and the only thing I truly care about… is writing. I’m sure those skills will come in handy someday, though. So, take my advice.

If you ever start questioning whether or not your life will ever get better, take charge and make your life better.

I have never felt happier than I am right now at this very moment, knowing that once the dreaded Monday comes around, I’m going to wake up, drink a cup of coffee, do my morning workout… and I won’t be doing any data analytics. I’ll be writing.

Writer sharing thoughts on self-improvement and relationships. Connect with me: https://bit.ly/2Xj9WsX IG: dayana_sabatin YT: https://bit.ly/3q4mi4E

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store